§Somniloquence of the Skeleton in the Cupboard§

Somniloquence: v. To speak while sleeping.

theladycheeky:

.@Stoya can’t give talks in high schools, because she makes porn films. If she could, here’s what she’d say about respecting other people’s boundaries during sex.
A person’s first condom, strap-on, or lacy thong doesn’t come with a pamphlet explaining active consent. Tampon companies don’t print statements on the back of their boxes encouraging teenagers to express their desires and ask for the desires of their sexual partners. Someone should do something about this. It would be extremely inappropriate for me to march into high schools and begin expounding upon communication, respecting other people’s limits, and taking responsibility for expressing your own. What I can do is expound upon some basic guidelines on the internet and hope the core concepts trickle down. 
So, here they are: 
1. Ask the people you will be having sex with what their preferences and limits are. This fosters active consent and encourages communication. 
2. In order for a sexual partner to be able to give you what you want, you have to tell them what your desires are. A sexual partner can’t respect your limits if you don’t express them. 
3. It is completely OK to retract your consent during a sex act. You can say that something is more intense than you thought it would be and you are no longer OK with it. If you do not speak up your partner(s) have no guaranteed way of knowing that you are unhappy or uncomfortable. 
4. If a sexual partner says something hurts, uses a “safe word” or other signal to communicate that they want the sexual interaction to stop, or just looks unhappy, freaked out, or generally not OK, you need to stop what you’re doing and check in with them.
5. If your partner(s) are drunk or high, their ability to consent is questionable. If they’ve previously expressed distaste for anal sex and are slurring “Fuck my asshole” you should politely decline and bring the subject up later when they’re sober. This applies to any sexual act that you have not previously engaged in with this person. 
6. As a general rule, don’t penetrate an orifice, pee, vomit, or bleed on someone, or slap them around without discussing the act first. 
7. If your sexual partner(s) express a limit or ask for something to stop and you do not respect it, you are stepping onto a scale that ranges from “jerk” to “full-on rapist”. Personally, I don’t want to be on that scale at all, and I don’t want to engage in sexual activity with anyone who does hang out on that scale. 
8. If one of your sexual partners steps on to the jerk-to-full-on rapist scale, call them out on it. You have the right to end the sexual activity you are engaged in and to decline sexual activity with them in the future. There you are. If any condom companies want to use those bits on their wrappers, hit me up.
-Stoya
Originally published in: New Statesman.To read the entire article, CLICK below:
http://www.newstatesman.com/voices/2014/01/if-you-dont-want-say-no-porn-stars-guide-sexual-consent
Follow Stoya on Tumblr: http://stoya.tumblr.com
Follow Stoya on Twitter: @stoya​
Follow Stoya on Instagram: http://instagram.com/stoya

theladycheeky:

.@Stoya can’t give talks in high schools, because she makes porn films. If she could, here’s what she’d say about respecting other people’s boundaries during sex.

A person’s first condom, strap-on, or lacy thong doesn’t come with a pamphlet explaining active consent. Tampon companies don’t print statements on the back of their boxes encouraging teenagers to express their desires and ask for the desires of their sexual partners. Someone should do something about this. It would be extremely inappropriate for me to march into high schools and begin expounding upon communication, respecting other people’s limits, and taking responsibility for expressing your own. What I can do is expound upon some basic guidelines on the internet and hope the core concepts trickle down. 

So, here they are: 

1. Ask the people you will be having sex with what their preferences and limits are. This fosters active consent and encourages communication. 

2. In order for a sexual partner to be able to give you what you want, you have to tell them what your desires are. A sexual partner can’t respect your limits if you don’t express them. 

3. It is completely OK to retract your consent during a sex act. You can say that something is more intense than you thought it would be and you are no longer OK with it. If you do not speak up your partner(s) have no guaranteed way of knowing that you are unhappy or uncomfortable. 

4. If a sexual partner says something hurts, uses a “safe word” or other signal to communicate that they want the sexual interaction to stop, or just looks unhappy, freaked out, or generally not OK, you need to stop what you’re doing and check in with them.

5. If your partner(s) are drunk or high, their ability to consent is questionable. If they’ve previously expressed distaste for anal sex and are slurring “Fuck my asshole” you should politely decline and bring the subject up later when they’re sober. This applies to any sexual act that you have not previously engaged in with this person. 

6. As a general rule, don’t penetrate an orifice, pee, vomit, or bleed on someone, or slap them around without discussing the act first. 

7. If your sexual partner(s) express a limit or ask for something to stop and you do not respect it, you are stepping onto a scale that ranges from “jerk” to “full-on rapist”. Personally, I don’t want to be on that scale at all, and I don’t want to engage in sexual activity with anyone who does hang out on that scale. 

8. If one of your sexual partners steps on to the jerk-to-full-on rapist scale, call them out on it. You have the right to end the sexual activity you are engaged in and to decline sexual activity with them in the future. There you are. If any condom companies want to use those bits on their wrappers, hit me up.

-Stoya

Originally published in: New Statesman.
To read the entire article, CLICK below:

http://www.newstatesman.com/voices/2014/01/if-you-dont-want-say-no-porn-stars-guide-sexual-consent

Follow Stoya on Tumblr: http://stoya.tumblr.com

Follow Stoya on Twitter: @stoya

Follow Stoya on Instagram: http://instagram.com/stoya

(via thereshegoesthatcrazygaby)

The Path of The Wise Is The Loneliest Path.
Suomi.
Loneliness Is An Illusion. Reflection In Silent Solitude Is A Moment In Which We Are Part Of The All, Not Separated From it.

KIN

(Source: futubandera, via my-sweet-ponds)

fictioninchains:

jayneausten:

lioar:

hookersorcake:

quiyst:

beefranck:

transgalacticwanderer:

electricalivia:

sageruto:

rabbitsnwolves:

Well, he was sorta asking for it, dressing in such flammable clothing.

if he didnt want to get set on fire, he should have stayed indoors

He was probably drinking that night, alcohol makes you susceptible to fire.

If it’s a legitimate inferno, the male body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.

God I love you, Internet.

Why didn’t he stop, drop, and roll? He should have stopped, dropped, and rolled. He must have secretly wanted it.

If you read the article, eyewitnesses said the man had purchased a lighter earlier that same day. Dude probably set himself on fire and lied about it. Typical.

He should have relaxed and enjoyed it. After all it was just a bit of kindling cuddling

We need to start educating people about wearing fire-safe clothing and carrying extinguishers with them at all times. For their own safety.

Everytime i see this, the comments keep getting better

fictioninchains:

jayneausten:

lioar:

hookersorcake:

quiyst:

beefranck:

transgalacticwanderer:

electricalivia:

sageruto:

rabbitsnwolves:

Well, he was sorta asking for it, dressing in such flammable clothing.

if he didnt want to get set on fire, he should have stayed indoors

He was probably drinking that night, alcohol makes you susceptible to fire.

If it’s a legitimate inferno, the male body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.

God I love you, Internet.

Why didn’t he stop, drop, and roll? He should have stopped, dropped, and rolled. He must have secretly wanted it.

If you read the article, eyewitnesses said the man had purchased a lighter earlier that same day. Dude probably set himself on fire and lied about it. Typical.

He should have relaxed and enjoyed it. After all it was just a bit of kindling cuddling

We need to start educating people about wearing fire-safe clothing and carrying extinguishers with them at all times. For their own safety.

Everytime i see this, the comments keep getting better

(Source: royalpunani, via imaginaryexistentialism)

Nocturnes Op. 9 No. 2 ~Chopin
And rise with me forever
Across the silent sand
And the stars will be your eyes
And the wind will be my hands

Anonymous asked: I am batman

And I am Not Amused. Nice to meet you.

Anonymous asked: why shalls I

Why “shalls” you not?

tourtures:

watching-the-stars-fall-down:

persequimur:

lomaskett:

bluem-oon:

this is my brother two years ago. we were at the park, just me and him, and he turned to me and said “kayla, don’t you ever wish there were no bad people in the world?” i thought it to be a funny thing for a 5 year old to say, but shrugged it off. last year, he didnt come home from school, we thought that being only in grade prep, he might’ve decided to go home with his bestfriend without telling us, but he didn’t.  the school confirmed they saw him get on his school bus after the bell rang. but thats all we knew, the bus driver said that he had gotten off a stop early, my mother was frantically searching the neighbourhood for him. we never found him. it’s been two years and we’re still looking for him, he was such a beautiful boy, and i cant help but think the worst. he could be anywhere in the world by now, so please, reblog this, no matter where you’re from, you could save a life. xx
if you dont reblog this i have no respect for you. help save a child’s life.
this literally breaks my heart
this relates to my blog in 0 ways. but how can i not reblog this. you have to be one heartless person to not reblog this.
I really hope he is found. 
oh my god. have hope. i wish you the best of luck omg <3

We are with you

Please reblog this beautiful boy to help the family find their lost son 😢

 REBLOG THIS POST. FAKE OR NOT, I DON’T CARE JUST HELP.

this has nothing to do with my blog. but please reblog this. this seriously made me cry. i hope you find your brother, dear!

tourtures:

watching-the-stars-fall-down:

persequimur:

lomaskett:

bluem-oon:

this is my brother two years ago. we were at the park, just me and him, and he turned to me and said “kayla, don’t you ever wish there were no bad people in the world?” i thought it to be a funny thing for a 5 year old to say, but shrugged it off. last year, he didnt come home from school, we thought that being only in grade prep, he might’ve decided to go home with his bestfriend without telling us, but he didn’t.  the school confirmed they saw him get on his school bus after the bell rang. but thats all we knew, the bus driver said that he had gotten off a stop early, my mother was frantically searching the neighbourhood for him. we never found him. it’s been two years and we’re still looking for him, he was such a beautiful boy, and i cant help but think the worst. he could be anywhere in the world by now, so please, reblog this, no matter where you’re from, you could save a life. xx

if you dont reblog this i have no respect for you. help save a child’s life.

this literally breaks my heart

this relates to my blog in 0 ways. but how can i not reblog this. you have to be one heartless person to not reblog this.

I really hope he is found. 

oh my god. have hope. i wish you the best of luck omg <3

We are with you

Please reblog this beautiful boy to help the family find their lost son 😢

 REBLOG THIS POST. FAKE OR NOT, I DON’T CARE JUST HELP.

this has nothing to do with my blog. but please reblog this. this seriously made me cry. i hope you find your brother, dear!

(via happy-bohemian)